For many families, bedsharing or co-sleeping has been a cherished part of their parenting journey. It’s often a natural, comforting way to nurture closeness and ensure everyone gets some sleep during the early months or years. However, there may come a time when this arrangement no longer serves everyone’s needs. Whether it’s your child waking frequently, seeking a sleep association that no longer works, or you and your partner struggling with disrupted sleep, it’s okay to acknowledge that change is needed.
This shift might be led by your child’s cues—such as restlessness, difficulty settling, or frequent night waking—or it might be encouraged by you, as a parent, realising the current arrangement is no longer sustainable. Either way, choosing to transition to a new sleep arrangement doesn’t make you any less of an attached or “gentle” parent.
Why it might be time for the change
The decision to stop bed-sharing often comes when the current arrangement no longer supports restorative sleep for everyone. Some common reasons families make this change include:
Parents waking frequently due to a restless child
A child waking frequently and struggling to resettle
Parents feeling their own sleep space is too limited
Concerns about long-term sleep habits or independence
Parent waking child early morning when getting up for the gym/work etc
Making this change is not a sign of failure or a lack of love— it simply means it's time to find a solution that better suits your evolving needs as a family. Prioritising your well-being, alongside your child’s, ensures that both of your “cups” are filled. Well-rested parents are better able to show up as their best, most present selves—a gift to your little one and yourself!
Moving forward with connection and confidence
Moving away from bedsharing is a deeply personal decision, and it's natural to feel emotional about it. You might worry about how the change will affect your bond with your baby or whether they’ll adjust well. It’s important to remember that connection, attachment, and love aren’t defined by where you sleep. They’re built through your consistent responsiveness, care, and affection—not through a particular sleeping arrangement.
Room-Sharing as a middle-ground
You don’t have to stop room-sharing if it still works for your family. Room-sharing—having your child sleep in their own space within your room—offers the best of both worlds. You can maintain proximity and reassurance while giving everyone the personal space they need for better sleep.
This is a great option if you're not yet ready to move your child to a separate room but need to create more personal space during the night.
Proximity Without Physical Touch
The transition from bedsharing doesn’t mean cutting off physical or verbal support. Instead, it’s about creating a small shift in how that support is offered.
Sit beside their new sleep space at bedtime, offering verbal reassurance or a gentle touch until they settle
Gradually reduce physical interaction as they become more comfortable, but stay close by
Use a consistent bedtime routine to provide predictability and security
Help your child feel secure by showing them they can sleep independently with your support nearby. Respond promptly to their needs during the night, but encourage settling in their own space.
Start Small: Introduce the new sleep space during naps or for part of the night before making a full transition.
Use Familiar Items: Bring comfort objects from the shared bed, like a favourite toy (age appropriate), to their sleep space.
Offer Gentle Reassurance: Talk about the change positively and reassure your child that you’re still there for them, even if you’re not sharing the same bed.
Be Patient: Like any new skill, independent settling takes time. Celebrate small successes along the way and be flexible with setbacks.
Recognising and addressing your own sleep and well-being needs is just as important as supporting your child. Prioritising your own sleep is not selfish—it’s essential. When you’re well-rested, calm, and centred, you’re better equipped to meet your baby/toddlers needs with patience and love. When modelling healthy boundaries and self-care, you’re also teaching your child valuable lessons about prioritising well-being. Supporting them in learning to settle independently is a milestone that fosters resilience and confidence in both you and your child.
The journey away from bedsharing is not about losing connection—it’s about evolving to meet everyone’s needs as your family grows. Whether the decision is child-led or parent-initiated, this change can strengthen the bond you share by ensuring both you and your child get the rest you need to thrive.
If you need some support to make this change we offer a range of support options. From supportive guides to 2 week coaching packages, we're right here with you!
If you need some sleep support and you are ready to make a change our team of experts are here for you! Book a discovery call and let's chat about your little one's sleep and how we can help your family get the rest you all need to thrive.
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